I think I should tell you why I have reacted the way I did on Saturday....let's start from the beginning, shall we? Before I start I would ask you for your understanding, as this is personal.
I was born and lived the for the most part of my childhood under the red star . I remember that when I went to kindergarten that they used to scare us by telling us that the police will come for us if we don't eat our meal (it's no laughing matter, those things really happened, I remember that one boy got hit by a truck when he was crossing the road and suddenly stopped out of fear because he saw a police officer on the other side of the street), then it was the war and all horrors that come with that plus the bullies in my elementary school (I was mentally and emotionally raped there, but that's a whole other story)...that's why I act the way I do. You see, fear is deeply rooted inside me. Sometimes when I just think I did something wrong I start to feel uneasy, then this uneasiness turns into some sort of panic, and my head starts to hurt. Now, some of you will tell me to ignore those fears and just live my life, but the sad truth is that I can't. I've tried to do that so many times before, but it looks like that those fears are hardwired inside me, so it's a bit like Sisyphus' punishment. Sometimes I don't even know how to feel or what to do anymore in this World where everything you do can and will be considered wrong and/or harmful by the others, and I am concerned that our society is turning into something out of "Logan's run".
And that's what happened on Saturday - I got scared because of the age difference between me and some of my friends (some of you are half my age), but I feel much better now. I don't care if you are young or old, male or female, I consider you as a friend, and I hope that you feel the same way towards me too.
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